She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
