He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
