You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
