My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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