Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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