i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
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Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
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I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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