dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
