I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
