Nicole vs. Life
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
