I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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