Yo dont text me then not text me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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