What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
