do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
