I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
