I hate all girls vehemently.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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