captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
