Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
