Please, let me fuck your mom
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
