I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
