if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
