I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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