I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So much rum. So many feels.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
