after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
