Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They took my balls.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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