Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
40s are totally the cure
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
