Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
