you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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