Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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