super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
not ubering you a puppy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
