I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
