She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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