you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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