biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
