You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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