You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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