You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize