I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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