I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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