I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
