walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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