I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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