Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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