people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
