Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
