think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
