He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
