tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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