I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
