well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
