i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Text me some of your sweat
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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