Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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