thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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