Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
