Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The air was thick with penises
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
