I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
