come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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