I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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