Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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