so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
