Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
