Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
