The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
